I'm very down today... because a person who used to train me, love me very much removed me as a facebook friend. My tears just can't stop dropping after I discovered the status from '(tick) Friend' to 'Send Friend Request' when I'm reviewing his updates.
After a minute of tears, I'm pretty sure that he had the same feeling as me when I hurt him badly with all my lies in front of him last time. How he covered his face after discovered a 2 and a half years trained student was still lying to him and trying to defend himself with another lie. All the pictures, his anger, asking why, scold are flowing inside my head.
I questioned myself last time: He has no blood relationship with you , he is the one who loves you, cares about you the most besides your parents, how can you did such thing to him? Answer: Selfishness. I am such a coward, disgrace and asshole....yeah, a typical asshole..
After I leaved him and them, I'm very afraid to meet with them again. I'm shaking and feel like want to dig a deep hole to hide myself whenever I saw cars that are same brand and colour with them on the roads. Don't even mention how will I react if I meet face to face with them accidentally.
This will be the memory that couldn't be wipe off forever. All I can do now is to move on my life and said to myself: Don't ever lie any more, never, ever..
